Thingamagik,

Typical of me to leave my blog untended to for so long.
Typical of me to only turn to it when times seem to be going downhill.

But honestly, who wants to read about me, say, living a perfect life? With the perfect friends and the perfect ONE and the perfect college life and the perfect contents of a perfect wallet?

Hah. You want to see me crash and burn, don't deny it. Whether to make yourself feel better, or so you can relate is besides the point.

August seems to be a bad month for me, just like how July was a bad month for Kim.

I mean, you just KNOW the month is going to be bad when you have been raped. I'll leave you to your wild imaginations with that one.

Meanwhile, I guess August is when friends decide to explore deeper into your privacy and twist it around their fingers. They want to control that, too. Well, for me at least.
August is also the month to realize that you haven't actually communicated with your boyfriend for about three months. Well, for me at least.
'Tis the season to be barred from college because you can't afford to pay for education.
'Tis the time to realize that not many people will miss you if you're gone.
'Tis the period to discover that these same people will take you for granted, every, chance, they get.
Well, for me at least.

Above all, it's the best, most perfect time of the year to have panic attacks. All the goddamn time. Random bursts of paranoia. Sleepless nights because you're afraid to die.
Maybe you should try this one.

The void is growing
At a steady pace
Without me knowing
It'll conquer this race.

I only want what I need
Their advice I took heed
But on my mind it started to feed
And my soul it made bleed.

Myself I lost
To the deadly frost
Terrified I grew
For nothing I knew.

Alone in the dark
I search for a spark
But nothing I find
They've left me behind.

It attacks my weakest
When I'm feeling my meekest
I can't run nor hide
This I'm forced to abide.

I look for me in you
I scout around for a clue
Tell me that there is a point
Give me substance to anoint.

With my mind my only guide
I leave behind everything to confide
I take two steps toward the light
And walk on until it feels right.

-End-

I need God.

Shannya Jotted Some Thingamagiks AT 5:07 AM

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Just A Pinch ,

I'd like to live on an island. Where the sands are golden and the water turquoise. Where the sun is my friend and the moon my guardian. Where I am only with the people I love and people who love me. Where music is the only source of oxygen. Where I can do just about ANYTHING and nobody would give a fuck. Where unnecessary, materialistic things are just that. unnecessary and materialistic. Where money doesn't exist because we don't need it. Where the air is clean and the sky always blue. Where the only sources of light at night are from fire-flies and the stars above. Where I have everything i want. Where laughter never fades away. Where illnesses are non-existent. Where there is one race, one religion. Where there is no heaven and hell. Where I can sit around and have conversations with God. Where I can sit around and have conversations with myself. Where people are not afraid to say "I love you" and mean it ♥ Where nothing really matters. I'm a dreamer. So sue me.

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